


the one that i want

by shrack



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, S4 E4 AU, feels like a birthright for a seblaine writer to write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrack/pseuds/shrack
Summary: What if Blaine had actually cheated on Kurt with Sebastian?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	the one that i want

**Author's Note:**

> ah, it's finally time to write this au. as most things, this spiraled away from me. enjoy!

It was a horrible lapse in judgement. Or maybe it wasn’t, even Blaine’s not really sure what happened. How it happened.

Sebastian had reached out via text, the same day the New Directions had won Nationals. It took quite a long time for their relationship to get to where it was before...everything. Sebastian had apologized a few times over the months, but it wasn’t what Blaine was really concerned with. For all he cared, he forgave Sebastian shortly after their meeting in the Lima Bean.

This wasn’t a frequent pastime of Blaine’s. Not enough to bring it up to Kurt—not like  _ that  _ would have gone over well in any realm of reality. Besides, their texts are family-friendly. They always have been: boring stuff about homework or bowtie choices or some gossip that involves neither of them. It’s nice. It’s even nicer when Kurt’s too busy for him in New York.

Kurt hangs up on him in the hallway. Blaine takes a shuddering breath in, and has a moment of weakness.

“Blaine, this better be good, I have like two minutes before Mr. Stevenson chases me and you know how he is,” Sebastian hiss-whispers into the phone, and Blaine’s heart pounds hard in his chest.

“Sorry, I—you should go back,” Blaine says, and his voice sounds so small. He rubs a hand over his face. “Don’t get in trouble for me.”

“No, come on. You okay?”

Blaine chews his bottom lip, looking around the hallway before tucking into the bathroom. He gives a long sigh. “Kurt has an entire life without me. He’s too busy in New York to even ask about my day. I know it’s stupid, I should’ve expected him to be busy but...not even a good night text?”

“Well, clearly Kurt doesn’t know what he’s leaving behind. You’re allowed to miss him, Killer. It’s not stupid.”

“I know,” Blaine sighs. Before he can stop himself, he adds, “it’s really nice to hear your voice.”

He can hear Sebastian’s smirk when he replies, “I know.”

When he hangs up the phone, Blaine looks at himself in the mirror. This should be a problem. A pressing problem, actually. He feels better from a minute long phone call than he has in weeks of talking to Kurt. Maybe months, he’s not sure. Blaine smooths a hand over the side of his hair and gives his reflection a once-over. This is not a problem for now. Maybe it’s not a problem ever.

Then Kurt blows him off again. And again. And one more time to really rub salt in the wound. It’s a terrible idea, but he doesn’t feel the remorse he should. It’s late and Blaine calls Sebastian.

“Good evening, Blaine Warbler,” Sebastian’s voice washes over Blaine, smoothing the tension he’s been holding in his shoulders. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Can I come over?” Blaine asks, voice wobbling at the edges. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Blaine doesn’t cry on the familiar drive to Dalton. He’s not nervous, either. Sebastian meets him by the front door of the school, wearing soft-looking sweatpants and a Dalton lacrosse sweatshirt. Blaine wants to hug him, so he does. Sebastian freezes for a second before wrapping him up in his arms. Blaine feels Sebastian place his chin on top of his head, swaying them ever so slightly, like he has no intention of letting go. Blaine sheds a few tears into his chest.

After a few quiet moments, Sebastian speaks. “We can go to my room, if you’d like.”

They don’t talk much. From what Blaine can tell, Sebastian’s waiting for Blaine to make the first move. It surprises him, actually—most of their in-person interactions a year prior were the furthest thing from innocent. Sebastian is leaned back on his headboard, scrolling absently through his phone, while Blaine sits at the foot of the bed, playing with his hands. As Blaine looks over at Sebastian, to take him in for a few silent moments, he surprises himself with the realization that he wants him. He aches to touch Sebastian, to find out what that clever mouth and silver tongue can actually do. It doesn’t bother him if it doesn’t bother Blaine, after all. He less-than-gracefully crawls up the bed next to Sebastian and, when Sebastian sets his phone down, kisses him firmly.

•••

“It was Sebastian, wasn’t it?”

Kurt’s got tears in his eyes. It’s not a question, it’s an accusation. Despite expecting it, it still hurts to hear, and Blaine flinches ever so slightly under his gaze. He swallows against the knot in his throat.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Kurt sucks in a breath. Blaine wants to defend himself, but he doesn’t. There’s no remorse. Maybe that should scare Blaine a little bit, but it’s the only thing keeping him together right then and there. He doesn’t regret anything, and he’s afraid if he opens his mouth to say it, he’ll only make things worse for himself. So he doesn’t.

“Are you two talking again?”

Blaine nods.

Kurt tears his eyes away with a shuddering gasp. “For how long?”

“Not long,” Blaine lies, surprised at how easily the lie slips out, “Kurt, that doesn’t matter—I needed you around, and you weren’t there. I was lonely.” The apology gets caught in his throat.

“You don’t think I was lonely?” Kurt snaps. “I knew this would happen. I  _ knew  _ it a year ago, and I didn’t—I didn’t do  _ anything. _ ”

Blaine clenches his jaw, anger flaring, hot and angry across his face. Not for himself, though, but for Sebastian. He says nothing. Just lets Kurt continue and slowly watches their relationship fall apart.

He flies home the morning after. It takes a week before Blaine finally breaks down.

With shaking hands, he dial’s Sebastian’s phone number.

“You’re back,” Sebastian says as soon as he picks up.

He has to take a moment to find his voice, and it’s rough when it comes out. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Sebastian’s outside of his house not an hour and a half later. Blaine’s mom lets him up, and Sebastian still takes a moment to knock gently on his door before letting himself in. Blaine feels pathetic. He’s wrapped up in his blanket, a pile of tissues off to the side and scattered around the bed, eyes red and swollen. He’s dragged Sebastian into this drama that he shouldn’t have any part in in the first place. Sebastian glances at the state of things, scans the room for something, and then grabs the trash can out of the corner and gets to work cleaning up. Blaine laughs wetly.

“What are you doing?”

Sebastian tosses the last tissue in the trash and sets the can down once more. “Cleaning up after you.”

Blaine presses his palms into his eyes, rubbing them. “You didn’t have to come. Or do that.”

“No,” Sebastian says, hanging on the syllable for a second, sitting next to Blaine on the bed. “But I did.”

Blaine tips himself over to land gently against Sebastian’s side, and Sebastian hesitates a moment, like those weeks ago, before wrapping his arm around the bundle of blankets that is Blaine. This shouldn’t be nice, but he has to stop thinking about it like that. Sebastian is here for him, after everything.

“I cheated on Kurt,” Blaine says softly. “I’m a terrible person.”

“You are  _ not _ ,” Sebastian assures. “You are a person with needs that he wasn’t meeting. And now you’re free.”

Blaine sighs. “It was a mistake.”

“Am I a mistake?”

Blaine tilts his head back to look up at Sebastian. Sebastian’s not looking at him, instead looking straight ahead at the TV that’s turned off. He sounds vulnerable, a tone Blaine remembers from the Lima Bean. Blaine swallows.

“Sebastian, I—”

“I get it,” Sebastian says sharply. He turns to look at Blaine and smiles, tight around the edges. “I’m here as your friend, Blaine. Nothing else.”

Blaine can feel tears threaten at the back of his eyes again, so he tucks his head back into Sebastian’s side and presses close. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve...so much more,” Sebastian murmurs, and there’s something sad in his voice. Shit, soon he’s going to need to ask Sebastian about that. The man’s so difficult to read, so hesitant about his feelings. It’s like he’s locked up in there—and Blaine understands that. Feeling trapped by everyone else’s expectations of you.

Blaine decides to change the subject. “McKinley’s doing Grease.”

Sebastian hums. “Do I get a ticket to your Danny Zuko debut?”

Blaine sighs and finally sits up, running his hands through his—oh god,  _ gel-free  _ hair. He panics for a second, glancing around, and Sebastian raises his eyebrows at him. Blaine hangs his head and drops his hands. “I don’t think I can... _ do _ Danny Zuko. It’s a show about love. How am I supposed to channel that when I completely ruined my own?”

“Oh my god, okay,” Sebastian groans, scooting across the bed to sit cross-legged in front of Blaine. He grabs both of his cheeks in his hands, lifting his head to force eye-contact, and Blaine can’t help but echo the smile that Sebastian’s giving him. He should feel guilty about this. But they are just friends, after all.

“Blaine Devon Anderson, you are not going to let this break-up take this role from you. You are the senior class president, shaping up to be the valedictorian, the lead male of the show choir,  _ and  _ the ideal Danny Zuko. Do you hear me?”

Blaine’s heart is racing. Realization slaps him in the face; he wants Sebastian to be here as more than a friend. But  _ that _ he shouldn’t deal with right now. Blaine just nods.

“Good.” Sebastian pats Blaine’s cheek, making him flinch before laughing and tugging his head from Sebastian’s grasp.

Sebastian jabs his pointer finger at Blaine. “I want a ticket.”

•••

Blaine is chatting idly with Marley before they go out on stage, shaking out their hands and preparing themselves for the opening night. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he places a hand on her shoulder to dismiss himself to the side to pull it out. Blaine bites his lip against a smile and answers.

“You better not be calling me because you’re late,” Blaine says, looking around before plugging his free ear to hear Sebastian laugh on the other side.

“No, I found my dirty, weirdly sticky seat without a problem. I actually had a gift for the leading man, if he wants to see me.”

Blaine fights the urge to peek out of the curtain to find Sebastian. He knows Kurt is out there too, but...he thinks he can face Kurt. He feels good about meeting Kurt’s eye and coming out unscathed. “People are going to think you’re stealing from us again.”

“I turned over a new leaf, remember?”

Blaine scans backstage again before he gets an idea. “I can...meet you after the show. In the hallway?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Break a leg, Killer.”

“Thanks, Bas.”

The show goes perfectly. They get a glowing review from the Muckraker, which helps ease everyone’s nerves about the show as a whole. As soon as Blaine can dismiss himself from the cast, he slips out of the choir room and glances at his watch. Shit, there’s no way Sebastian waited this long to see him. When he turns the corner, he’s nearly face to face with Kurt and Rachel. The two of them must’ve been reminiscing or something, but Blaine stops dead in his tracks.

“Kurt. Hi.”

Rachel places a hand on Kurt’s wrist. “Do you—”

“I’m okay,” Kurt says to her, and Blaine wants to laugh. He doesn’t, of course. Rachel stays put, folding her arms over her chests and eyeing Blaine. “Were you...looking for someone?”

Blaine shakes his head. “No, uh...well, I guess this worked out in my favor, actually.”

“I’m not interested.” Kurt’s voice is firm, and Blaine snaps his mouth closed.

Over his shoulder, Sebastian wanders around the corner, head down and on his phone. His head pops up when he hears Kurt speak, his eyes go wide, and he immediately pivots back around the corner. Blaine’s eyes snap quickly from Sebastian back to Kurt, and he acts fast to duck his head to try and hide his bubbling laughter. Maybe it can come off as sadness—come on, he just spent two hours acting, he can do a few seconds.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine sighs, lifting his head back up. “I hope we can be friends again, one day.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe someday.”

Blaine holds his breath as Kurt and Rachel turn around and walk straight down the hallway and out one of the back doors. Sebastian pokes back around the corner as soon as the heavy metal door slams shut, sauntering down the hall like he knows the place.

“Well that was fun,” Sebastian deadpans, shamelessly raking his eyes up and down Blaine’s body. Right. Still in act two Zuko attire. He smiles, blush threatening to creep onto his cheeks, turning his head away.

“The show or that?”

“Both, but the Scooby Doo finale we just did was quite fun.”

Blaine notices then that Sebastian’s holding one of his hands behind his back, and as if on cue, Sebastian reveals a rose and something else dangling out of his hand that Blaine can’t quite place.

“I figured that one rose was easier to tend to than a bouquet,” Sebastian says, and when Blaine meets his eye he’s almost sheepish. “I wanted you to remember this opening night, too. It’s not much, but…”

Sebastian holds his hand out for Blaine to take both items. Aside from the rose, he’s holding a little Broadway playbill for Grease on a keychain. It’s sparkly and can’t be something that you could just walk into a store and find—there is no way that places are selling Grease keychains in this day and age. Sebastian thought about him enough to not only get him a rose, but to buy him a custom keychain as well. Blaine feels tears welling up in his eyes.

“Sebastian,” Blaine sighs happily, raising the rose to his nose to smell it. “It’s perfect. Thank you. You did all this for me?”

Sebastian shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets. He does that when he’s nervous, Blaine’s noticed. “There are worse things I could do.”

Blaine rolls his eyes while Sebastian looks mighty pleased with himself. That could be the definition of their entire relationship right there. There is also an urge that Blaine wants to see through. Like an itch he can’t scratch. He could, actually, scratch it.

Blaine holds the rose back out to Sebastian. “Can you hold this for a second?”

Sebastian’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, but he takes it regardless. “What for?”

“Something I have to do,” Blaine mumbles. He takes Sebastian’s face in both of his hands and rocks onto his toes to kiss him. Sebastian makes a soft noise of surprise against his lips before both of his hands scramble for Blaine’s hips. The way Sebastian pulls him close without hesitation makes him feel things he hasn’t felt in a while with Kurt—it sends a thrill up his spine, takes his breath away without really trying. 

Blaine pulls back first but doesn’t open his eyes, reveling in the short, quick breaths Sebastian is taking so close to him. When he does open his eyes, Sebastian’s smile is wide and unguarded. Blaine smooths his thumbs over Sebastian’s cheekbones; up close, he can see the freckles that dot his face. That night a month or so ago was frantic. Desperate. Blaine told himself that it wasn’t who he was with, it was the fact that he was with someone who  _ wanted  _ him. He felt wanted. But he’s wanted right now. Sebastian is standing in his grasp, wanting him. Sebastian’s wanted him for quite a while. It’s one of the only constants Blaine has right now. And he doesn’t want to let that go.

“I think I crushed the rose a little bit,” Sebastian admits, removing his hand from Blaine’s hip to reveal the rose. The stem is bent, the flower slightly squished, but it’s salvageable. Blaine laughs softly.

“It’s perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is shrack, if you dare!


End file.
